Let’s talk about self-sabotage and forms of self-destructive behavior…
I’m talking about trading your time for money. Letting yourself become exhausted and burnt out…
Trying to release your emotional pain through drug abuse, food binges, or self-injury. Overthinking, procrastinating, and staying STUCK…
Self-sabotaging patterns look different for everyone. But in any form, self-destructive habits have devastating effects on people’s personal and professional lives.
These self-sabotaging behaviors affect your self-confidence, your career, and/or your romantic relationships. Self-sabotage occurs when we feel unworthy of success. If you feel like you’re not good enough, because of past mistakes or low self-esteem, you won’t allow yourself to live your best life.
But when you break free from these internalized negative behaviors and self-defeating thoughts, you can stop sabotaging your own life, overcome imposter syndrome and start moving forward.
You CAN overcome self-destructive habits and take control of your own success.
How to Stop Self-Sabotaging and Start Thriving
Slapping together partial solutions that “experts” have offered you isn’t going to work.
There are far too many surface solutions out there that fail to work again and again.
Maybe they treat the SYMPTOMS of self-sabotage for a while. Still, as long as your self-defeating behaviors are an issue, these solutions aren’t going to have any long-term effect on your personal or professional success.
It’s like trying to stick a band-aid on the problem without ever getting to the root cause. And when the band-aid doesn’t work, you fall back into the vicious cycle of self-sabotage.
Each failed attempt to break free leaves you with more self-doubt and low self-esteem. You feel afraid to try again. And as long as you’re self-sabotaging your own success, you’ll repeatedly fall short of your goals and deadlines. I want you to know that you’re worth more than that.
You need to stop self-sabotaging behavior by getting to the root cause of it.
What Causes Self-Sabotaging Behavior?
Ask yourself honestly, “am I charging the value of what my product or service is really worth?” In most cases, the answer is no. And you’re not alone.
People often self-sabotage by failing to recognize the difference between value and worth.. They make the mistake of collapsing value into worth. But there’s a key difference.
Value comes from what another person perceives your product/service/program is worth to them. Worth comes from you deciding you are worthy of allowing yourself to receive what you’re asking for. If you don’t feel worthy, you’ll sell yourself short. You’ll end up trading your time for money rather than focusing on the value that comes from the Results.
This is what sets successful people apart from those who feel stuck — they’ve mastered communicating and delivering value. They know their worth, and they help others see it and value it.
When people would rather give you their money than live another day without your product/service/program is when you know you have achieved this.
Recognize “Analysis Paralysis” and Know How to Beat It
Overthinking is one of the most self-destructive habits. It leads to “analysis paralysis” — overthinking to the point of inaction.
You’ll spend way too much time going over things in your mind that you’ll end up falling behind on tasks. You’ll feel like you’re not worthy enough. Like you consistently doubt yourself and second guess yourself because you don’t trust yourself to make your own decisions.
But when you learn to stop overthinking and procrastinating, you break free from analysis paralysis and tackle tasks head-on: no longer falling behind, and no longer having self-sabotaging thought patterns.
Is Self-Sabotage a Mental Disorder?
Are you experiencing burnout? It’s a symptom of not feeling like you’re worthy or deserving of asking for what you need, being afraid of being seen as weak, feeling like you have to figure it all out yourself…
Maybe you feel like you’re on your own and have to be self-sufficient. And so, you never ask for help and continue to suffer in silence. Burnout then becomes a regular part of your life. You let yourself struggle and never live up to your full potential as a result.
But when you realize that you CAN ask for help and still be successful, you can embrace better habits and live your best life, when you accept support, you will escape the vicious cycle of burnout.
Is Self-Sabotage a Trauma Response?
Start by Addressing Your Core Trauma. All of your self-sabotage symptoms are a result of your Original core trauma™.
Consider, something happened to you (when you were young) where you didn’t feel you could be with the EMOTIONS you were feeling at the time. So you tried to figure it all out in your head.
Only to become stuck in a vicious self-sabotaging loop of “Thinking” you know what you should do, but NOT really “Feeling” like you can do it. Trapped between the thinking part of you that screams “I want to BE SEEN” and the FEELING part of you that says, “but please don’t see me, because if you SEE ME, then you will see how much is wrong with me.”
So you freeze, feel confused, then either go into anger or people-pleasing to try and survive…ALL of which is coming from not believing in your worth or simply not believing you are enough! So you fall victim to imposter syndrome and prove yourself right, over and over again.
And it’s f@#$ing EXHAUSTING!!!!
Do you see the pattern?
THIS is why we must start with our Original core trauma™ or we will only end up sabotaging our businesses. It’s in this moment of your original trauma that you, for the first time, made decisions about your worthiness.
You see, at that moment, you were so blindsided and confused as to why the experience was happening to you that you made three crucial decisions to try and make sense of it. You internalized:
- What it meant about YOU.
- What it meant about OTHERS.
- What it meant about The WORLD.
And for each person, these decisions are directly tied to how worthy and deserving you feel and therefore whether you allow your successes or sabotage them.
What is the Root of Self-Destructive Behavior?
Because all of us decided (on some deeper level) that for this to have happened to us, we can’t trust ourselves, we can’t trust others, and we can’t trust the world.
While we have each given it different individual meanings. For example, one person can make it mean…”I have to figure this out myself, and I am alone, I am on my own, I have to be self-sufficient. Others are not going to be there for me, not going to protect me, will leave me not supported…and the World is Unpredictable.”
Can you see the pattern, and how these decisions define who we think we are, and therefore our sense of self-worth?
When we go back to your Original core trauma™, to the decisions you made and help you process them thoroughly, THEN and only then can we help you heal your sense of unworthiness and not-enoughness. This is what will allow your problems (or symptoms) to dissolve, falling away easily and effortlessly (from their root cause) returning you to the LOVE you really are!
This is precisely why we teach you what works for the long term – NOT just another bandaid.
Ready to Stop Self-Sabotage?
Along with healing your core trauma, we teach a self-coaching method that gives you real practical life skills, using our Aligned Intelligence Method®. This causes a permanent paradigm shift, teaching you how to consistently and predictably coach yourself through any obstacle. This, in turn, will forever banish any feelings of unworthiness ANYTIME they rear their ugly head, disguised as yet another symptom.
It’s a real game-changer.
Take part in the 5-day challenge to know your self-worth and charge for it. You’ll learn to challenge your core beliefs, you’ll master practical and proven exercises for eliminating behaviors that have been holding you back your whole life.