You can feel it before it even begins.
The weight in your chest.
Rehearsed phrases spinning in your mind.
A quiet hope that maybe—just maybe—it won’t have to happen today.
No one teaches you how to fire someone.
And yet, nearly every leader reaches this moment.
Over 70% of supervisors feel uncomfortable firing someone,
and 1 in 3 regularly feel anxious before doing it.
It’s not a lack of care.
It’s a lack of guidance on how to lead this moment with clarity, compassion, and integrity.
The Two Most Common (and Costly) Mistakes
When firing does happen, most leaders fall into one of two patterns:
- They detach—going cold and distant to shield themselves from discomfort
- They rush—sugarcoating or dancing around the truth just to get it over with
Both responses are rooted in fear:
Fear of hurting someone.
Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of being judged.
Here’s the Truth:
Firing someone doesn’t have to be a failure.
When done from Alignment, it can be one of the most compassionate acts of leadership.
This blog will show you how.
Why We’ve Been Getting It Wrong
Most of us were taught to view termination as a last resort—a sign that something has gone wrong.
The reality is, people outgrow roles just like we outgrow chapters of life.
We accept the changing of seasons without judgment.
Winter isn’t a failure of summer—it’s simply a necessary transition.
So why don’t we allow professional relationships the same grace?
When someone hits a plateau in their current role, that plateau might signal:
- The completion of one level
- And their readiness for something new
Yet we often treat these transitions as something shameful—triggering feelings of inadequacy, rejection, or failure.
What’s Really Happening in a Firing Conversation
What makes these conversations so difficult isn’t just what’s said—it’s what’s felt.
Firing often activates deep emotional wounds on both sides.
For the person being let go, it might trigger an old story:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I failed.”
“I don’t belong.”
For the leader delivering the message, it might stir guilt, shame, or fear of being “the bad guy.”
But when you understand these patterns, you gain the power to shift them.
5 Principles for Leading Termination Conversations from Alignment
After nearly four decades as an entrepreneur, I’ve guided hundreds of these conversations.
Understanding these 5 principles have helped me do so with clarity, compassion, and peace of mind.
1. Each Person’s Journey Has Its Own Unique Timeline
No two paths are the same, and no journey should be compared to another’s. We each unfold at our own pace.
2. Everyone Deserves Respect for Their Choices
Even when those choices differ from our own or what we believe would be best, respecting others’ autonomy is essential.
3. People Have the Right to Discover Their Own Truths
We don’t get to decide how fast someone grows. Each person must make their own mistakes and learn at their own pace.
4. No Journey Is More Valuable Than Another
Regardless of external success or achievements, every path has equal worth and dignity.
5. True Respect Acknowledges Each Person’s Unique Experience
We must recognize that each person’s core wounds were not only experienced differently but also interpreted uniquely, fundamentally shaping their perspective of the world.
The #1 Leadership Principle: Honoring the Dignity of Every Professional Journey
If I had to distill these principles into one overarching truth that has guided me through countless difficult conversations, it would be this:
Allow each person the dignity of their own life journey while allowing yourself the dignity of yours.
This principle creates space to honor both paths—without judgment or attachment.
I break it down in Part 1 of When HIRING Turns to FIRING—including how to stay grounded in Alignment, even when the conversation is tough
When HIRING Turns to FIRING (Part 1)
What’s most remarkable about this perspective shift is that it extends far beyond professional terminations. This framework can transform how you view all separations in life—whether professional or personal.
When we approach endings with compassion, clarity, and Alignment, we create the possibility for new beginnings that honor everyone involved.
What’s Coming Up
If this perspective resonates with you, you won’t want to miss Part 2 of this series (coming May 19th),
where I’ll share the exact steps, phrases, and processes I use to make these difficult conversations transformative rather than traumatic.
For now…WATCH PART 1 NOW: When HIRING Turns to FIRING
to hear these principles explained in detail, including powerful insights on how to maintain alignment throughout the entire process.
Love,
Mia 💜
