Mia Hewett

How to Stop Hating Yourself and Combat Self-Hatred

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Success and Self-Hatred

You may think that successful people don’t struggle with self-hatred. After all, why would a celebrity or someone who has achieved success in their profession or with their business ever think, “why do I hate myself?” Yet the images we get to see that show them looking flawless and smiling are often staged. So the next time you wonder how to stop hating yourself, stop! The confidence and happiness that seems to pour out of so many people, does not reveal their daily lives and struggles with low self-esteem.

Now I will tell you something important: almost everyone, no matter how successful or how perfect their life might seem, will at some point struggle with feelings. Wealth, success, good looks, and fame don’t give you self-esteem or the inner strength to ignore other people’s judgment.

stop hating yourself

Here are three celebrities who have admitted to feelings of self-loathing and low self-esteem.

David Bowie — Bowie is well known for changing his persona and seemed to be confident and comfortable with who he chose to show up as. Yet, although he never tried to fit in with mainstream looks, he admitted to low self-esteem and obsessive behaviors. Bowie said, “I really felt so utterly inadequate” in an interview.

Kristen Stewart — Is probably best known for her role as Bella in the hugely popular Twilight films. Looking at Kristen Stewart on the red carpet, you would be forgiven for assuming she was happy and enjoying the attention. During an interview for a Vanity Fair cover story, Kristen reveals how insecure she feels with just one comment  “I just want people to like me.”

Cara Delevingne — Supermodel and actor, Cara Delevinge talked about her struggle with self esteem and self-loathing in a Vogue interview. She said, “The worst thing was that I knew I was a lucky girl, and . . . you just feel so guilty for those feelings, and it’s this vicious circle. Like, how dare I feel that way? So you just attack yourself some more.”

Why Do People Lie on Social Media?

Social media profiles are easy to compare yourself to and can leave you feeling like you are not as successful as others. If you have ever had that sinking feeling when looking at a profile on social media, then it’s good to know research has proved that people lie online.

Unlike when Facebook and other social media platforms started, social media profiles are rarely kept private and shared only with friends and family. Today, your social media profile has to represent who you want people to think you are. And presenting your “best life” online is, of course, much easier than in real life.

With the fear of being judged by strangers, clients, employers, and so many people who seem to influence your life, it is not surprising that people want to look confident and gibe the impression they are living a life they love.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People’s Social Media Profiles

The answer to avoiding feeling a lack of self-esteem when looking at social media feeds and other people’s profiles may seem simple — stop looking! But this does not solve why you feel like you are failing or unhappy with your life.

Only when you feel secure in yourself and happy with the life you live will those gut-wrenching feelings of inadequacy end for good. Of course, if you spend hours every day on social media, you have less time to focus on what you want, align your actions, and achieve your goals.

comparing others

Finding ways to cut down on social media can be challenging. However, establishing your needs may help you have a positive relationship with social media.

Identifying Your Emotional Needs

Knowing how it feels to be enough, to reassure your inner-self that you are worthy of love and everything in life that you want, it is essential to understand how to meet your emotional needs. To do this effectively, you need to accept that it is not selfish to prioritize your relationship with yourself. This means putting your needs back on your radar.

So take a moment now to ask yourself, what do I need to show myself I am important. Here are three questions that might make it easier to understand what your needs are:

  1. When did I last feel good about myself? What was I doing at the time?
  2. When did I do something just for fun? Was I alone or with other people?
  3. When did I last feel completely secure and confident?

When you realize what parts of your life give you a sense of self, start to visualize yourself doing those things. Really think about where you are and what you’re doing, imagine all of the little details and hold this vivid vision in your mind for a few moments. This starts to reprogram your subconscious mind and increase self-esteem in your daily life. Do this daily, and you will find as your self-esteem grows, you will be able to identify your needs without conscious thought.

How to Build Self Worth

Lack of self-worth comes from occasions in your life when you felt unworthy of love. The first time you felt unworthy will have happened during your childhood. Because you can not process your emotional pain, your subconscious develops an Ego-self that operates separately from your true self. The Ego-self exists purely to protect you from future emotional pain. So why do you find yourself hating yourself? Surely your Ego-self should help you to know how to stop judging yourself?

Let’s take a step back and think about how you feel when you tell yourself, “I hate myself”. In other words, what triggers you to feel this way? A lack of purpose? Feeling unable to change your life for the better? Fear of judgment and rejection?



Now let’s consider how these feelings came about. When you were a child, at some point, you will have experienced a time when you felt unworthy. This could have happened when you felt judged or rejected. Maybe you were told you looked scruffy or asked to sit at a different table at a family event. Your Ego-self kicks into gear and does everything possible to prevent you from being judged or rejected in the future.

Your mindset shifts, and you start thinking limiting thoughts that limit your behavior. Without realizing it, you begin to give up on yourself and even try to make changes, fearing getting it wrong and being judged and rejected. Can you see what’s happening now?

Change Your Mindset to Heal Trauma

To change your mindset, you need to heal the initial trauma that caused you to split your inner self and operate from your Ego-self. By recognizing why you tell yourself, “I hate myself,” you can take steps to let go of the fear that stops you from seeing the truth. You are capable of being everything and anything you want to be, and that includes never, ever wanting to ask yourself, “why do I hate myself?.

Knowing how you feel about yourself doesn’t mean you are incapable of living your true purpose. It’s a great start, but it is not enough to live a life you love.

Overcoming fear of rejection, learning how to be present, and ending self-judgment is how you create a life you love. Are you ready to do the work and transform your sense of self-worth?

feeling better about yourself

I have a proven method to heal trauma and become aligned with your inner self.

Our Aligned Intelligence Method® is unique and will awaken you to the true greatness you already possess, to become the person you were born to be.

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Mia Hewett

My mission is to help entrepreneurs awaken to the truth of who they are, so they can make six to seven figures in their businesses, live their purpose and make the difference and impact they are Meant to make.

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