Let me be really clear…
I know that one of the biggest things you will struggle with once you begin to understand trauma is the possibility that you are responsible for creating other people’s trauma.
Let me explain…
THEIR trauma is NOT your fault (whoever “they” are in your life).
You see, and I get it, once you awaken to the role of others in your own traumas, you fear you’re going to be the reason for someone else’s trauma (especially as parents).
Yet, reaching your potential is not possible if you walk around all day afraid of the traumas you may cause others. When you truly understand how to heal from trauma, and help others recover from trauma — this is how to live FREE.
This is because trauma is in the eye of the beholder.
Take my client, Mary, for example.
Her daughter Olivia is three and started acting up every morning, not wanting to go to school.
Each day it escalated until, finally, the morning routine wasn’t complete without full-blown temper tantrums.
Mary turned to Olivia’s teachers, looking for answers.
They all said the same thing, she was fine, and they couldn’t connect Olivia’s behavior at home to anything happening at school.
They even suggested that maybe Olivia’s behavior was triggered by the new baby.
Mary felt horrible! Feeling entirely responsible for her daughter’s emotions and actions… it was eating her up inside!
Mary then shared this with me in passing…
I replied that something had clearly happened at school, which was causing Olivia’s symptoms of temper tantrums to begin. I also explained that this would escalate because Olivia FEELS something but doesn’t know how to express or process what she is feeling.
My suggestion was for Mary to have a conversation with Olivia, using the same skills we teach through our Aligned Intelligence® Method, so she could help her daughter to process her emotions.
So Mary asked Olivia, out of complete curiosity,
“What happened that made you not want to go to school when you used to love going so much?”
It turns out something did happen at school. A little boy had said that he was going to bring in a knife to school and cut Olivia into little pieces. This really scared Olivia, making her feel unsafe and afraid to go to school.
By having this conversation, mother and daughter were able to explore the misunderstanding and misconceptions that needed to be cleared up. Our Aligned Intelligence® Method showed Mary how to help Olivia express her worries and fears, to feel understood. This way, Olivia could process her feelings of fear and uncertainty. Then together, they created a new way for Olivia to feel safe and confident about going to school – returning her to loving it, just like before.
Mary was able to watch her child step into her own power, reclaiming something that gave her so much joy while also feeling proud and relieved in this experience!
Freedom… For them both.
You see, true Power is not about tolerating or putting up with things in our business or our lives. What we need to do is stay in our own Power, as we help others reclaim their Power…
Even our most beloved family members!
So, if there are people around you, who’s trauma you can see from the outside, you have to decide: are you going to tolerate the symptoms or are you going to get curious and actually help them process what’s coming up for them, so that they return to their power and restore their own greatness?
Because the reality is, adults (or children) will not change as long as we just tolerate their behaviors… because they don’t know how to.
AND while we may not always be able to protect our loved ones from experiencing trauma…the most important thing we can do is stand for their greatness. To do this, we need to help them process the trauma they’ve experienced, to show them how to live from a place of intuition and true self.
This is how you can give them the skills that will consistently and predictably allow them to overcome any obstacle.
This is the greatest gift we could ever give anyone we love, as they will never have to FEEL stuck in a trauma again!
Olivia now knows how she can create her own success on purpose every time – at only three years old, she is already empowered to become her most powerful self.
Standing for YOUR greatness,
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